HOW TO INFLUENCE PEOPLE

#1. DO NOT CONDEMN OTHERS OR COMPLAIN ABOUT THEM

The first thing you need to learn if you want to be a master of the social arts

A confident speaker addresses her colleagues in a modern office, fostering influence and impact through effective communication and leadership.

– is that no one likes a complainer. No one likes a gossiper. No one likes someone who is constantly putting negative energy into the world. If someone hears you speaking poorly about some-one else, they will assume that you are going to speak poorly about them as well. And then, therefore, they will not trust you.

So the first step to winning people over to your side, is to become a celebrator or people’s good parts, rather than someone who constantly focuses on the bad parts.

If you do this, you will be like a magnet in attracting positivity all around you.

APPLICATION TO LIFE

When you interact with other people, what percentage of the time are you able to maintain a positive attitude? Do you often complain or gossip?

List three strategies you can employ to improve this about yourself.

When I’m thinking badly about someone, I could remind myself of something that I like about them and focus on that instead…

#2. SHOW GENUINE INTEREST IN OTHER PEOPLE

If you want to be a social guy, you need to actively show that you’re interested in them.

APPLICATION TO LIFE

Pick a specific person you interact with frequently. List 3 realistic actions you can take in order to better express your interest in them.

#3. TAKE OTHER PEOPLE’S INTERESTS INTO CONSIDERATION

When speaking to someone, a really good way to show interest, and to take conscious consideration for their interests—is to ask a lot of questions.

Dig down deeply into what they are saying. Really imagine yourself as someone who is really excited about what they’re excited about. Feel their pain. Empathize with their happiness.

Getting on the same level as some one, even if you’re not immediately “interested” in their specializations, will have massively positive impact on your life.

APPLICATION TO LIFE

Think of the person you like the most in your life. Write down three ways in which they are different than you. This should get you thinking about why writing someone off based upon

 a first impression of their interests, is NOT a good idea.